You may have heard or read about the opposite of love is fear (not hate). We are in especially challenging times in the world where we spend more time looking for separation than connection, and senseless death is no longer limited to “other places” in the world. The more you watch/listen/read the news, the more entrenched you become in your position, and that someone else must be (fill in the blank here). Or perhaps the more you see, the more afraid you feel. FEAR. False Evidence Appearing Real. I’m not suggesting all fear is false. I’m suggesting a pause to consider what is real, and what is imagined (we have coined “first world problems” to make light of these fears and worries).
We like to think our evolution has gone long past running from a dinosaur or gathering our tribe in caves. Reality is that our evolution from flight or fight hasn’t come that far. When afraid our bodies release adrenaline, to outrun the theoretical “bear”. And, if we aren’t actually running, we find ourselves with the need to release that adrenaline. We have one of three responses – fight, flee, or freeze. We attack by lashing out or lashing in. We behave badly toward ourselves or others. Maybe we flee, jeopardizing relationships, dismissing our calendars or our self-care. Or, perhaps we freeze. Do nothing, feel stuck, and frustrated with our lack of movement.
The more I attend to the parts of me that are afraid, the more I can release the FEAR. When I am in conflict, I freeze. Some people flee and others jump in and fight. What do you do?
Did you know that meditation provides an avenue to clarity? When I pause to meditate I gain the clarity of dialogue and craft my communication through first person to resolve the issue. An added boost to the benefits of meditation is this study on productivity and meditation, which focuses on the legal industry. It shows 9 minutes a day of meditation equals 6% more productivity. In other words, build a meditation practice of less than 10 minutes a day that will offer you an alternative to all that adrenaline and provide more productivity when you aren’t in fight, flight, or freeze mode. Now are you ready?
About Judy Hissong
Judy Hissong is the President of Nesso Strategies. A former law firm Chief Operating Officer, she helps firms become more profitable by developing leaders. Her mission is “world domination for Good.” By creating actionable, lightbulb moments that leaders want to share and spread, she intends to improve the world one person at a time.